25 random things about me

so someone "tagged" me in facebook and asked me to make a list of 25 random things about myself. i decided to post that list here too...so you can find out some of my quirks!

1. i strongly dislike pickles of any sort.
2. that goes for olives too.
3. i really think i was born to use my hands to create things to make a living. like building stuff. or making things out of wood. or painting.
4. my favorite flowers are daisies and (blue) hydrangeas.
5. the one book that has changed my life spiritually is "the ragamuffin gospel" by brennan manning. it is a Hard read, but so, so worth it!
6. my favorite color is blue. any shade.
7. i really like kid food! mac and cheese, tater tots, applesauce, grilled cheese sandwiches...
8. i hate flossing. it is overrated.
9. i want a sleep number bed. if i spend 1/3+ of my life sleeping or in bed, then it is worth spending money on!
10. my dream job would allow me to be a writer and photographer for a travel magazine.
11. i think i am a good writer.
12. i think road tripping with someone is a Very Good way to get to know them well, and find out things you otherwise would not likely come to know.
13. i have two tattoos and plans for at least two more.
14. i understand why they call it "the terrible twos." i am convinced that it applies to the threes as well. of course, this comes only from observations of "other people's kids" as i don't have any of my own.
15. i have no plans to birth babies. never have. never plan to.
16. i can see myself adopting an "older" child that's lost in the system...as young as maybe 6 and as old as maybe 12...cuz i think i'll make a great mom.
17. i drink my margaritas "rocks, no salt"
18. i love watching fires.
19. i'm not sure how i started out as such a messy, unorganized kid, and became a neat, highly organized adult.
20. i am a bedding snob. when i see great bedding, i HAVE to buy it. even though i have more bedding that one person could ever use in a lifetime.
21. i've always wanted to shave my head bald.
22. i cannot comprehend how to go about "lov[ing] the Lord my God with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength" but i Can "love my neighbor as myself" and somehow i think by doing this, it is helping me to come to love God more.
23. my parent's deaths were the most difficult things i've ever had to live through.
24. i'm truly greatful for the people who pray for me.
25. i have more close friends than any one person should be allowed. i am truly blessed!

raicy

that's how i describe today's weather. it's a combination of rainy and icy. but not freezing rain...that happened last night. no, this is "one-degree-above-freezing rain". which makes it Very cold outside. and Very wet. but the ice is starting to melt.

the question is, will all of the new wet rain and the newly melted ice dry out before the temperature plunges below zero again? i'm guessing the answer is no. either way, this means i am staying Inside today/tonight!

stay warm and dry! :)

hiccups

they're funny, kindof like laryngitis... funny sounding, funny to have, funny to say...

saturday started with hiccups. not the usual kind, but the "my friend lives far away and i can't seem to reach them by phone or email and i thought we were going to do something together today" kind. some people say hold your breath to get rid of the hiccups. some people say eat a spoonful of sugar to get rid of the hiccups. then there is drink ten sips of water quick without taking a breath. and drink water upside down (i never did figure out how to do this). and get scared by someone. it's kindof hard to get scared by someone when you have the hiccups because you know they are trying to scare you, which makes it Not Scary. but now i am rambling. welcome to my brain.

so the cure for "do i get to do something fun with my friend who i can't seem to reach" hiccups is wait. i Should be an expert at "wait". i've done it most of my life. i don't like waiting. but They say, good things come to those who wait. so i waited. and wondered. and then my phone rang!

see, while i was having emotional hiccups, my friend was having emotional suffocation, and i got all unfocused and was more concerned about my hiccups than his suffocation. and when i sat down and thought about it, and stopped being selfish, i realized that hiccups might be annoying, but they're still funny, and there is nothing funny about suffocating. it might even be life-threatening. so i started praying for my friend while i was waiting. and that is when he called.

as it turned out, i Did get to see my friend and do something fun!

i've been hesitant to write on my blog about this friend, because he has become my *boyfriend* now. and he's been in my life longer than the other couple of boys i've mentioned here, who both happened to go Out of my life as soon as i talked about them here. so robert, please don't go. i want you to stay. even though i'm writing about you on my blog.

so i got a whole, wonderful weekend with robert, visiting debbie and dave and em and catie in virginia beach. i so enjoy road tripping, and i was tickled that he wanted to go with me and meet my friends!

can i tell you some of the things i like about this man? for starters, he brought me daisies when he first met me. bright yellow ones. and they have lasted a Very Long Time! he also taught me how to make biscuits (to go with my apple butter). he is thoughtful and courteous, not just in "trying to impress you" kinds of things like opening doors and such, but also in taking out the trash because he sees that the trash can is full. or washing my dishes. or washing my friend's dishes even! he loves Jesus. and coffee. he admits his faults and doesn't blame other people. he relys on God and seeks after Him. he's not too proud to be vulnerable. AND he cooks!

i hope we are not simply hiccups - little annoying funny blips - in each other's lives. i'm pretty sure this is already deeper than that.

with God in both of our lives, and as the foundation of our relationship, i'm certain that we can handle the hiccups along the way. here's to you robert... and here's to *us*!

thoughts

so there is this house, about a mile from mine, that has been on and off the market for the past two years. it is back on again and they've dropped the price considerably. i briefly considered that house, when i was looking to buy, but found mine which i just love and suits me to a tee. the other house has remained in the back of my mind, primarily because it is an Old House, with lots of character and charm and stories to tell. from the outside, you can tell that it is going to need some work. from the inside, you can tell that it is going to need even More work. but i still love those houses, and the potential i can see in in them to become a lovely home, even when they have been empty and neglected and are tired and old.

it's all about seeing the potential. then there is work to be done, for them to live up to their potential. it doesn't just happen. someone has to make an effort. i've got a rough analogy tumbling around in my head about me being empty and tired and old and God seeing enough potential in me to buy me anyway...

so after seeing the inside of this house (with danelis and nabin), all five of us (with kids in tow) went to walmart. that was an exercise in patience for me. i'm not used to shopping with other people. the few times i do it, i am usually with other grown-ups. we had one of those Big carts with an additional space for kids to ride and i was pushing. the kids, however, did not Want auntie cali to push. and they wanted a balloon. and a spiderman cake. and chicken nuggets (which they got, because it Was lunchtime). and then they wanted Out of the cart. and there was poking. and crying. and (very slow) i'm sorrys. and auntie cali was tired of listening.

and i wonder how often God gets tired of me with my "i wants" and my discontentedness with exactly where i am and wanting to "get out". and he is immensely patient with me. and i offer to him an "i'm sorry" and i know that i am forgiven.

we are all works in progress. and abba God loves us all enough to redeem us, and then Wants to be with us even when we are acting like little children.

his mercies are new every morning. great is his faithfulness...

*sigh*

i have things i want to say.
but i'm having trouble getting them out.
they seem important
(to me, at least).

sarayu

"can you not go far away?" my friend's daughter asks her often at bedtime. i was thinking about that, in light of having just finished reading the shack by wm. paul young.

in the book, without giving away the plot, a guy gets to just hang out for a weekend in the presence of God. i'm not even going to try to explain anything else but the book left my head and heart turned inside out and upside down in so many amazingly good ways that i will be processing it for months to come...

i have a renewed sense that even when i can't feel him, he is always right here with me, and he will never go far away. also, that he likes me. that he is fond of me. that more than anything in the world, the only thing he asks from me is to be...just be...with him.

none of us wants to be alone. sometimes being alone is overwhelming. it is painful. i know in my head that God never leaves me alone, but there are times i cannot feel his presence. i am so glad that from time to time, he chooses to put other people in my life, possibly simply to remind me, that he does not want me to ever have to feel alone. because He loves me. more than i will ever be able to comprehend...

between

this is the week between. most noticeably, between christmas and new years. and i am still between jobs, and have been for quite some time now.

so last week was delightful in more ways than i can count. i love having something to look forward to! planning the christmas menu, looking up recipes online, wrapping presents, choosing silly stocking stuffers for guests that are visiting (two college guys from india stayed over on christmas eve, and Everyone at my house gets a stocking on christmas morning!). and having my friend danelis here with me to share in the planning and shopping and wrapping just made it perfect! :)

of course we spent most of the day on christmas eve baking goodies of all sorts. then we went to the christmas eve service at church, and an open house afterwards at the posey's. then in the morning it was fun to surprise the guys with stockings (chocolates, and soap and disposable razors and microwave popcorn - goofy, i know), and "santa" even left them a present under the tree. we all had a ball opening presents and watching the kids and their excitement!

keith and his family came in the afternoon and we had a yummy dinner. the kids played and played and it was a great day all around. i think i spent the whole next day sleeping!

so, i'm enjoying this week of between. i will enjoy a new year's eve celebration with my dear friend jim, as i have for the past few years. lucky for me, there is no boy to disappoint by my desertion of him for new years, as i am currently "between" in that category as well. suits me just fine, as i am still content to wait for the one and only one worth having. haven't met him yet...

a house, full

they're here! danelis and nabin and nadin and neisha have arrived at my home. they've been in india for the past several months and they are staying with me until they find a home of their own. they arrived late last night and danelis and i stayed up till the wee hours of the morning, talking and laughing and catching up. we finally forced ourselves to go to bed, knowing that we will have days and weeks of time to share.

i woke up the the pitter patter of little feet running around the upstairs of the house. of course, i rolled over and went right back to sleep. they are still adjusting to the time change - it can take a while - so they are up and wide awake well before the sun!

when nadin (age 4) was asked what he thought about the christmas tree, he responded, "there are no presents underneath." of course. at 4 years old, what is the point of having a christmas tree if there are no presents underneath? indeed.

laryngitis

its a funny word. it sounds funny when you say it. it sounds funnier when you Have it and try to Say it! :) i have no other symptoms of illness. in fact, i feel quite good...

so my friends who have been in india for the past several months are back in the states now. they will be arriving at my home late friday night and will be staying until they find a place to live. i'm so excited that they are coming. excited that we will be spending christmas together. excited to have the company and hustle and bustle in my home.

i've been getting things ready for their arrival. cleaning out some drawers for them to use, moving some furniture around (thanks for your help, tim!), and making beds. i've got kids books on the bottom bookshelf, and a big bag of stuffed animals for them to play with.

my voice has two days to heal. 'cuz when they get here, we've got almost a year of catching up to do!

birthdays

have you ever been with a friend on their birthday and had them say to you that they knew this would probably be the last birthday they ever had? two people i know had birthdays yesterday. my nephew turned nine and i doubt that the end of his life ever crossed his sweet, happy mind. and reva turned i don't even know how old, but not old at all, and she knows this will likely be her last.

the best thing about the day was the surprise snow. reva said, and i certainly believe her, that her daddy (who died in january) asked God to send reva snow for her birthday so that she would know he was thinking about her. and God said yes! yea God! thank you daddy. the best gift of all.

peaceful, calm, quiet, clean, beautiful snow. just enough to make everything white for an afternoon. enough to make one happy to be alive for one more birthday...

a different plan

yesterday morning, when i woke up on december 1, my plan for the day was to drive reva to roanoke to meet the speech pathologist to help figure out what kind of communication device was going to work best for her, as her speech is getting more and more difficult to understand.

we were supposed to leave at 9am, and neither of us were looking forward to the circumstances of the day, as they were just another glaring aspect of her a.l.s. and we would rather have been doing anything but going to see yet another doctor.

at 8:45am, the lady called and the devices didn't come in and could we reschedule the appointment for next week instead? well, there was a little bit of frustration until we decided to go to cracker barrel for breakfast instead, and then that changed the plan of the whole day. yummy comfort food in front of a great big fire place with a best friend - what's not to love?

after a lingering breakfast, and a stroll around the gift shop looking at the christmas trees and decorations and ornaments, we headed back out into the cold. the sky was clouding over, looking possibly stormy, but the heater in the car worked and we were warm. as we were driving north, crossing the james river bridge from lynchburg to madison heights, the raindrops started pinging and it was rain and sleet and then it was just sleet, bouncing off the pavement in every direction like tiny styrofoam balls with static.

we stopped at cvs to pick up a prescription for reva's mom and dropped it off at her house. then reva came with me back to my house. my christmas tree is up and lit, and i haven't found the ornament box yet, but it still looks really nice. and i had put out some other decorations that just make my cozy home feel christmas-y.

reva and i drank chocolate milk, and watched 27 dresses. she hadn't slept well the night before and she laid down on the couch to watch the movie and soon fell into a restful sleep. i paused the movie, laid my head down on the arm of my chair, and had a nap as well. when we woke up, we finished the movie and discovered we were hungry again and decided to go to our very favorite restaurant of all for indian food for dinner.

it was twilight and the clouds had rolled away and the sky was clear and you could see the remnants of the sun's rays going down over the mountains in the west. reva told me that i was her best friend and that this was one of the Best Days Ever.

the icing on the cake, for me, was the night sky on the way home - the blue-black sky with my very favorite sliver moon and venus and jupiter shining like bright stars right next to it. peaceful night. peaceful day. glimpses of grace and peace in the midst of disease.

God is good. all the time. even when i don't understand...

counting...

and realizing there are lots of blessings to count.

my tree is up.
my house is warm.
i spent thanksgiving with friends, and family.
i passed my test.

and i have so many friends, i cannot count them all.
i am blessed.

i did it!

i passed my test for my virginia real estate salespersons license!
i am So Happy!

things i'm smiling about...

its sunny and windy today and i'm sure my neighbor wishes i would rake my leaves instead of letting them blow into her yard, but oh well. (i'm not really smiling about that, but again, oh well).

nikki is coming to visit for the weekend and it's been a while since we've been able to hang out, stay up late, talk and laugh, so i'm really looking forward to having her here.

so that's it, really. not much to say. hope your day is sunshiny! :)

it's not accidental...

...the people that come into our lives. i'm more and more convinced of this. i met a new friend a couple of weeks ago...we've exchanged emails and chatted online several times. technology being what it is these days, some "online" acquaintances come and go very quickly, without ever nearing "friend" status. but this one became a friend. and now he is a face-to-face friend. and i think that God knew i was going to need this person in my life.

with my dear friend reva, who is like a sister to me, having been diagnosed with a.l.s. last week, i've been in a bit of turmoil. i think she is still in shock about the whole diagnosis. i took her up to uva this past wednesday to see doctors and therapists and for three hours we met people who basically implied, "i'm sorry, but there's really no hope. prepare for the worst." we know that means she is dying. i don't want to watch another person i love die.

before i left on wednesday morning, i had an email from my new friend and he wondered if we might meet for coffee or something that day. i popped him a quick email to let him know i'd be out of town, taking my friend with a.l.s. to uva for the day. and when i got back home, his reply was waiting. he lost a dear friend to a.l.s. so he gets it. he knows. he understands, first-hand, how i feel. and isn't that what we all want? someone to understand and empathise.

it's not accidental, the people who come into our lives...

today

my tummy hurts
and i have a kink in my neck
and my eyes are sleepy
because they wouldn't sleep last night.

tomorrow
will be better...

a.l.s.

my friend, reva, went to the neurologist at uva yesterday. he'd done some tests, and she went for the results. he asked her if she knew what a.l.s. stood for. she told him, "angel, left stationary". and they cried.

reva, truly an angel, whose body has fought against her in one way or another, all her life. it's already started. in her hands, her arms, and her throat. and it's happening fast.

i hate it. Hate It. HATE IT! what in the world? so i'm angry today. angry that God allowed this to happen to her. (don't worry, He is big enough to deal with my anger.) its just One More Thing that doesn't make sense. i'm not looking for answers. i don't need an explanation. i just need to talk about it.

i don't want to watch another person i love die in front of me.

it's nighttime

and i'm actually sleepy.
today has been filled up and overflowing.

drunk on laughter

so i'm staying here in va. beach at my friend debbie's house for a couple of days. tonight we met karen and had a "girls night out" at the movie theatre. you would think that would be the highlight of the night, but not so.

when we got home, we interrupted dave's recorded football game. poor guy. he had no idea what he was in for. i think it might have started when debbie started spinning murphy. murphy is the cat with a stub of a "happy tail". he was lying on the floor, sprawled out with legs and legs flailed out to the side, taking a little nap, as cats are inclined to do. i'm not sure if murph woke up on his own or if he had help, but next thing i knew, debbie was spinning murphy around on the hardwood floor...round and round...faster and faster. when she stopped, murphy's little head is kindof twitching back and forth, obviously because the cat is so dizzy it can't focus. we found this quite funny. and we hadn't even been drinking.

so then debbie says, "do you think that the centrifugal force of the spinning causes brain damage?" i told her i didn't know, but if she called the vet and asked him, he would probably have an opinion. and the situation went from quite funny to hilarious. we discussed filming it and sending it to afv, but decided it wasn't quite That funny. we also considered that if murphy didn't like it, he would get up and walk away. so debbie did it two or three more times. nevermind that the poor cat was so dizzy, it probably couldn't have gotten up and walked away to save it's life... what are cats good for, if not a good laugh, right?

so her husband dave is standing behind the couch, watching us and smiling. he had picked up fuzzy, the other cat, and was snuggling her patiently. lucky fuzzy. i guess cats can be good for snuggling too, occasionally. anyway, he wasn't really laughing. did i mention the patient part? yes, he was standing there patiently. waiting. "for what?" you ask. well see, when we had come in from the movie, he paused the football game. and since i am company, he politely asked us about the movie, etc., etc., making conversation and being a very amicable host. after the spinning incident got us started, he began to realize that he was Behind the couch and the remote was on the arm of the couch. juuuust out of "polite" reach. so while debbie and i are cracking ourselves up, polite dave is smiling and nodding his head, all the while wondering just how he is going to commandeer control of the living room, especially the remote, and his football game.

unfortunately for dave, debbie and i are expert mind readers, and we were on to him. and when he made a comment about the speculated, upcoming nuclear hit va. beach was likely to experience in the near future, we decided to torment him a bit longer. it wasn't intentional. it just happened. he mentioned that he would like to be here when it happens, as opposed to richmond, because then he would be incinerated, as opposed to dying a slow, painful death from the fallout effects of nuclear disaster. debbie wisely inquired, "why here or richmond, and not kansas?"

don't even get me started on kansas. have you ever driven across kansas? Longest Damn State In The Country. it looks exactly the same, no matter where you are. seriously. texas takes less time to cross than kansas. why would anyone want to go to kansas? that would be my Last choice. and then...

debbie said "shampoo". not initially funny. but it does have "poo" in it, and if you're in *that* state of mind, it doesn't take much to make one laugh. well, for some reason, when debbie started thinking about what she would want to have were she to survive a nuclear attack, the first thing that popped in her head was shampoo. not food. not water. Shampoo. dave suggested that a map to kansas might be more useful and, well, that was just too much. we're talking "laugh-so-hard-my-belly-hurts!" of course i had to remind her that if she were to survive, she would likely lose all her hair as a result of the fallout, and then what would we do with 20 cases of shampoo?

obviously, you would have to have been here. thankfully, we were. like i said, poor dave. at least he was actually laughing by the time it was all said and done. it's likely that he was just laughing at us, but either way, laughter is the best medicine. and we're drunk on it!

now, a simple quiz to test your reading comprehension...

if a cat is lying on a hard wood floor and you spin the cat really fast,
1. wouldn't it run away if it didn't like it?
2. does the centrifugal force cause the blood to rush to its head?
3. does it cause brain damage?
4. will the vet call peta on me if i call and ask him?

in the event of a nuclear attack, where would you rather be?
1. ground zero; instant incineration
2. close enough to feel the effects; then die a slow, painful death
3. kansas

in the event of a nuclear attack, what would you most like to have if you survived?
1. shampoo
2. pork and beans
3. a map to kansas

which state takes longer to drive through?
1. texas
2. kansas

capricious cali craves creativity

opalescent ocean offers oblation

wet water weakens worries

grey gulls glide gracefully

supple sand shovels splendidly

fabulous friends frolic fearlessly

giggling girls grin glowingly

sparkly smile stays swimmingly