i've also had a renewed sense of God in my life these past few weeks. i knew that spiritual things in my heart were desert dry...i guess i just didn't realize how long they had been that way. looking back, it probably started about a year-and-a-half ago, when my daddy died.
i've been thinking a lot about "purpose" in my life, and how what i do on a daily basis reflects this. the biggest part is probably figuring out what that purpose is, and it seems like it should be something big, and worthy, and noble, but i can't figure out a big, and worthy, and noble purpose for my life. i wrestled with this for a few days, and i finally realized/remembered that God doesn't usually show us the future of our lives, and somehow knowing the "big" purpose is kindof the same as knowing the "future" and i think few of us are fortunate enough to ever know what that is.
so my purpose, for now, is to be who God made me...the best me i can be, for Him...and to love the people in my life and show them that Jesus loves them and to remain in fellowship with Him (yes, even during the desert times). i feel fortunate that i have a sense that it's "raining" in my spiritual "desert" life, and i feel a renewed closeness with Jesus, not just as my savior, but also as my friend. i know he loves me...but you can love someone and not particularly LIKE them from time to time. lately, i feel like He actually likes me.
regarding purpose, i believe i'm right where i'm supposed to be, and when something is supposed to change...when different action is required...God will let me know. i don't have to have "big" purposes for my everyday.